Life’s a…..(fill in the blank)

You know something? Life’s just unfair.

It is. Bad people get away with things. Good people get pink slips and cancer. And everyone in between gets the shaft at one time or the other. It’s just life, I suppose. Has been happening since the beginning of time. Or at least since Eve and Adam bit into the forbidden fruit.

Life just ain’t fair.

But sometimes it’s hard to accept, sometimes it’s hard to defend. Take my son. He’s ten and last week nominations went out for Louisiana student of the year. He was so sure he’d be nominated. He has terrific grades, is in gifted and talented, student council, football team, peer helper and advanced in every category of the state test. But he didn’t. He was so devastated. I was at a loss (because honestly, I thought he would be nominated too). How do you explain it?

You can’t. I told him the only thing I c ould tell him – “I’m sorry and sometimes life sucks.” But it was so hard to watch him cry. To see him hurt over something so insignificant in the grand scheme of things. My heart just crumbled. But, he got over it. He’s a good kid. I told him he can’t peak in elementary school anyway. He’s got to peak in high school where it matters a bit more 🙂

And take my LSU Tigers. Now I know I wear the purple and gold glasses, but I am fairly certain that even if I take them off, the Tigers got the shaft this past weekend. Even my Arkansas girl, Cyndi, would agree with me on that even though she wears Hog glasses. Bad calls and non calls not even overturned on absolute, positive video evidence! I was left shaking my head and dreaming up conspiracy theories 🙂 But, know what? Life’s not fair. Get over it.

The same applies to our writing. There will be times people you know get the call and you think to yourself, “Really?” You can’t believe it. You’ve read her stuff. Yours is so much better. But, guess, what? Yep. Life’s not fair.

So what do we do when life sucker punches  us in the gut and then laughs in our face? Whine? Well, heck everyone’s got to do a little of it. Get angry? Sure, it can make you more determined. Cry? Good for the soul…cleansing and all that. Tequila? Yep, it can certainly help you forget the pain…and your keys….and your panties.

But you can only do those things for a five, maybe ten,  minute period. Because after that, you’ve got to get over yourself. I always say you can’t control what happens to you in life. You can only control how you react to what happens to you.

So, what’s your best remedy for getting over life being unfair? Share with me. Please. It’s Wednesday and I need some feedback to help me when I face the next round of “why me?”

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10 Responses

  1. Liz, you ask the hard questions that make me think. *g*

    A cause of the “why me”. Um. Probably not too surprisingly, I dont’ do much of the ‘why me’ stuff. Yeah, sometimes something gets me down, but since it’s not something I do a lot of, I’m over it pretty quick.

    someone who I don’t think writes well sells? thoughts like, maybe it was just me? I hope she doesn’t get slammed in reviews.

    I guess it’s because I’m a pretty firm believer in everything happens for a reason. Today’s rejection could mean tomorrow’s break through. (case in point, see Carina Press and Angela James heading that up.)

  2. I believe that too, Keri. Everything happens for a reason and we don’t always understand it. Or maybe it doesn’t happen for a reason, sometimes, and we still don’t understand it.

    But, whatever happens, you can control what you think about it and how you address it. We, as writers, are going to get rejections, bruising critiques and battered egos, but how we handle them truly defines who we are.

  3. One of my favorite songs on this subject is Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks.

    The video on it (haven’t seen that in a LONG time) is just wonderful.

  4. I hate that feeling. I usually treat myself eating my favorite foods and watching some of my favorite comedies like Old School and Dodge Ball.

  5. You know Liz, LSU/GA had the same incredibly awful refs that my beloved HOGS had when we played those cheatin’ FL Gators! I do understand the glass and what’s crazier is that actually NOTHING we do (cheer, dress appropriately, etc) is gonna help you win later this month (GO HOGS! BEAT THE TIGERS [the day after Thanksgiving])

    I’m sorry about your boy. I do understand. My sister got to go to Girls’ State (it’s a political thing here in AR). I didn’t even get asked! On the other hand, I was a debutant and she didn’t get asked. It makes no rhyme or reason to me.

    I don’t think I’ll ever get used to rejections…even when I expect them (and worse…when I KNOW it should have been rejected)

    What I do when I disappointed has to change. I used to eat. I can’t do that anymore. TOO hard to lose the weight. Don’t really drink anymore either. So, I think 30 minutes on the bike would be the way to go.

  6. I like that song, too, Keri. Of course, I like just about anything by Garth Brooks. He hit big when I was in college….ah…like was good then. Chief concern – studying for tests and finding the cheapest beer.

  7. Oh, yes, Jane. Silly movies help us get over a lot. I like Anchor Man and Old School. I know he’s just plain ludicrous, but Will Ferrell cracks me up.

  8. Ah, Cyndi. Yes, Arkansas was definitely a recipiant of the bad calls. Personal foul penatly especially. And you may be right about the Arky/LSU game, our guys were pretty banged up by Bama. But I don’t think you are. Geaux, Tigers! 🙂

    As to the rejections, yep, never get used to them. They really suck. You go ahead and get on the bike. I’ll eat some chips and hot sauce and drink a marguerita. I can’t think of anything worse than exercise. Hmmmm…maybe a root canal? LOL

  9. At the risk of sounding like a Pollyanna, I honestly thinking everything happens for a reason. Once I accepted that premise life got a lot easier and it put successes and what appeared to be failures in perspective.
    I don’t think we were put on this earth to live in a feathered nest and never leave its safety. I do not expect to have everything I ever wanted immediately upon leaving my mother’s womb. Would it be “easier” yes, but I would have missed out on the ride of life.
    It’s as if instead of riding a roller coaster I just went to the bottom because that’s where I’d be eventually when the ride is over, you know? Part of the joy is experiencing “the ride”.
    When I look at the people in life who have always had things “easy” like Paris Hilton, Brandon Davis, Anatasia Onassis, Charles Walgreen, etc I would not for the world trade places with them. So many of those that grew up in affluence couldn’t handle normal life and threw their gifts away.
    It those moments when we don’t get what we want that we grow. At least I do. Every supposed failure is a chance for to me to learn.
    Recently the company I worked for downsized and I was laid off.
    But, instead of getting upset I had a glass of wine. Then I got an even better offer that paid better and I’m 100% happier.
    Even with guys that I dated that I was sure were “the one”…at the time I was devastated—but if they hadn’t have left I wouldn’t be with the wonderful man I anm with today.
    As a child, I was teased and put down by my parents constantly while my brother was coddled and spoiled…but now he’s the one that’s at home with them with no prospects and I am the one that is thriving with a home and business of my own.
    LIFE IS GOOD!

  10. Mari –

    You make a good point. My husband is much the same. Not having as much growing up made him hungry and molded him into the man he is today. Neither of his parents graduated from high school and they were basic working class people who lived in a used singe wide on the outskirts of town. He was never given anything and had to earn it himself. He never made excuses and never whined about life being unfair. He just moved ahead.

    It’s a pretty good lesson – learning to deal. So many people don’t do that well. They turn to other things – blaming others, alcohol, bad relationships to get away from disappointment.

    I’m glad you’re satisfied with the way things turned out. You are a testament to taking lemons and making lemonade.

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