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He’s Forgotten Our Romance

Over ten years ago, I met my husband. It was my Senior year of high school. He’d graduated the year before. The first night we met, I knew this was a guy for me. He was adorable and super shy. So shy that I made the first move…grabbing his hand to hold.

It was sweet and I couldn’t wait until our second date.

Many more dates came, as did phone calls. 

One night early into our relationship, I suppose after a basketball game because I was in my cheerleader uniform, I got hit with some really hard menstrual cramps. The husband, not having any sisters, was worried. After I assured him many times I was fine, to please stop talking and let me just lay on the floor a bit, he lay down on the floor with me. I don’t know if he rubbed my back or played with my hair (he did that a lot back then), but he did just lay there with me. And I never forgot it. A year or so later, this moment came up and Husband admitted he was worried, but my cheerleader skirt had gotten hiked up in the back and he could see my bloomer covered rear-end. And well, concern of my cramps weren’t the only thing on his mind 😉

This past Monday night I mentioned this moment and he didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. I nearly cried because there was something about that moment that I’ve always adored. I should have stopped there with Memory Lane, but I didn’t. Instead I mentioned a different moment. A moment that he told me he knew then he loved me. He’d gotten the stomach virus and I sat with him for hours.

Didn’t have a clue what I was talking about. Of course, I couldn’t keep my trap closed. “I bet you don’t even remember our first date.”

“Like I could forget. It was the only time I’d ever gotten lost going somewhere.”

Sigh. No, that wasn’t our first date. That was our third. His defense is he’s a man, and this is what happens and after ten years I should be glad he remembers my birthday.

But honestly? I’d rather him forget my birthday and remember those special moments that was the beginning of us. I’d like him to think of me and remember why he fell in love with me rather than be concerned with keeping me happy (cause you know that’s what they’re thinking about your birthday).

I want him to remember the moments that had him leaning in and whispering in my ear to only date him one night. I want him to remember how we’d cling and delay and put off leaving each other for the night when my curfew came around.

And what nags my mind the most—what will he forget ten years from now? Will he remember this conversation?


14 Responses

  1. You’re not alone with hubby forgetting those special moments. I have known my husband all my life, but only been married 6 years. He already has forgotten moments that I thought would never be forgotten. Unfortunately it is a man thing, but our expectations are high that they remember. Keep remembering them and reminding him of them without being upset her forgot.

  2. **he forgot. 🙂

  3. I recently read, in a book, an older character advising his younger compadre about his fiance. The gent told the young man that marrying a woman who loves romance novels was easy. As long as he did the romantic things, she’d let the other things (like remembering to take out the garbage) slide. If he remembered her birthday and their anniversary, if he bought her flowers, and remembered her favorite color, that she wouldn’t pay attention to his spreading bottom line.

    People often remember things differently. My aunt sometimes asks my father if they grew up in the same house, they remember things so differently. Ask you husband what he remembers from your early dates? His answers might surprise you.

  4. My husband remembers details like that better than I do! But he’s not real big on expressions of love and appreciation. Luckily I can read his mind. I think it’s why he married me, because he hates talking.

  5. Emma I was just…you don’t remember? How can you *not* remember?

    Last night he admitted not remembering asking me to be his girlfriend. He remembered me saying yes and that was the important part. But no! It wasn’t! It’s was that he had the guts to ask and that he had to ask twice because I made him repeate it.

    I am going to start reminding him of more as I think of them.

  6. My aunt sometimes asks my father if they grew up in the same house, they remember things so differently. Ask you husband what he remembers from your early dates? His answers might surprise you

    LOL Sewicked that’s funny. It does feel that way.

    He remembers the moments of ‘pain’. Like the time he opened his cardoor and whacked himself in the head. He blacked out for a few seconds and I…sad wife that I am, laughed my butt off.

  7. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Cynthia D'Alba, Keri Ford. Keri Ford said: My husband has forgotten our romance. 😦 http://bit.ly/bXnrhf […]

  8. Jody mine isn’t good with expressing love either. And I dont’ need that. I like to see/feel things–such as when he walks by and his hand drags across my lower back.

    Or if he asks me to sit with him in his chair while we watch a movie.


  9. My husband forgets entire conversations we had last week. In which he participated fully, not just me talking at him. Used to drive me nuts, until I drove to Minneapolis with his mother and she asked me the same questions and we had all the same conversations coming home as we did on the drive there. At which point I decided it was genetic and not personal, and probably something I could use to my advantage.

    “What do you mean, you didn’t know I promised you’d help coach the T-ball team?” *blink blink* “I told you last week, don’t you remember?”

  10. My husband and I are almost exactly the opposite.

    He remembers things from our early relationship down to the millisecond. What I was wearing, where we were, what exactly was said.

    He teased me like crazy a couple months ago because it was the anniversary of when he told me he loved me and I had no clue. I remember more what it *felt* like. *shrug*

  11. Love the picture, Keri! It looks like it should belong on the cover of a romance. 🙂 Try not to let the forgetfulness get you down. Guys are just wired differently. My hubby says he remembers things, but they are never quite as I remember them. LOL And after 19 years, he too has trouble remembering recent conversations. Hang on to those precious memories and never stop making new ones. 🙂

  12. What a lovely picture, Keri! It looks like it should be on the cover of a romance novel! 🙂

  13. Awww, Keri. You want me to come up there and pop him on the head and knock some sense into him? LOL

    I’m not surprised because I’m the one who usually forgets stuff. I’m a big picture sort of gal and I don’t remember facts, I remember feelings.

    Hey, we all forget, but he hasn’t forgotten that he’s crazy about you I bet.

  14. KariLynn–that completely works! And for applying the guilt when I want something!

    Lorelie–I don’t remember dates hardly at all. I have to think of what day my wedding anniv is, but I remember the moments with clarity.

    Thanks Melissa and Jamie–it’s always been a favorite of us together!

    Very true Liz!

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