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I Can’t Make Me

Photo Courtesy of Ubetcha Apparel

Have you ever tried to fall in love? Tried with all your might, because honestly, he’s a wonderful guy, and any girl in her right mind would grab him up and keep him. Except you just…can’t.

For me, it was Justin. I met him spring semester of my second to last year of college (we won’t be getting into specifics of how many years had come before). He was tall, good-looking, athletic, smart, funny. Dressed well and took me out to real restaurants. Had gorgeous green eyes and impeccable manners. My grandmother fell in love with him on the second date.

I did not.

I still don’t know why. We had everything in common. Both graduate assistants majoring in education. Both from small town Montana farm and ranch families. He would have fit in at Thanksgiving Dinner better than an extra helping of gravy when I’m wearing my comfy pants.

And yet…no.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because the main character of my current book has been thinking about it. There is a man in her life who, on the surface, seems to be her ideal. Falling in love with him would solve all of her problems. And still…she can’t. No matter how much she likes him, admires him, even desires him at times, that special magic isn’t there.

It’s a mysterious thing, love. It defies common sense and our best intentions. What weird mixture of chemistry and hormones and deep-rooted emotional needs tips us over that edge, from ‘He’s great’ to ‘If I don’t get to have him forever and ever I will take to my bed and never get up again’?

On second thought, I’d rather not know. I prefer love in all its unpredictable glory. How about you?

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8 Responses

  1. Love this motiff because I think it’s true. Reminds me of one of my favorite music artists – George “the man” Strait and his song “You Can’t Make a Heart Love Somebody.” I love that song – it’s bittersweet and poignant. The heart is pretty stubborn, isn’t it?

  2. LOVE this concept. In my current WIP, my heroine is trying to make herself love someone other than the hero (and we all know how that’ll turn out, don’t we?)

    The heart wants what the heart wants.

  3. I’ve often wondered the same thing. But I think you’re right. Falling in love is one of those special emotions better off left a secret. The not knowing why the heart beats faster, or the butterflies take off makes it exciting and so worth it. 🙂

  4. Love that saying, Cyndi. The heart wants what the heart wants. And love IS a mystery. There’s a certain spark with only that one man. And it’s funny how it can really light up with just the brush of a hand, when he flirts, or smiles at you.

  5. You know, that’s one of the biggest differences between real life and a romance novel. Love in real life often doesn’t make sense. But in a book, it has to. We have to be able to justify to the reader WHY this guy is her one and only. And why that other guy wasn’t.

  6. And Liz, I love that song too. It gets me every time I hear it. Not just his pain, but hers, in having to hurt this person she wishes she could love.

  7. I don’t know. I’ve thought about some of those guys a lot lately. My life has worked out the way it should have, I think. I’ll just leave it at that and drink a toast to what might have been.

  8. Josh. Known each other since sixth grade. Were a couple in 6th grade, 9th grade, and as adults. It just wasn’t there, and we have no idea why. We both married, are still friends, and best of all I LOVE his wife. We are close now. I’m with you… I prefer it in all it’s unpredictable glory.

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