I know what you are thinking….please don’t let this be a post similar to the one Aunt Mabel makes at every family get together – the laundry list of ailments!
Well, it’s not and it kinda is, but mostly it’s about getting older.
A few weeks ago I turned 39. Yeah, I’m holding on to the thirties with a death grip.
But it happened and now I’m facing 40 which might not be too bad, right?. Maybe. But in the last few weeks I’ve discovered the freaky thing about getting older – you can’t control your body. And I’m not talking about flatulance. And do I have a story about an old woman at the polling booth with a bad case of the walking farts. Yikes. But more in the realm of stress making me sick.
Everyone has stress, so I understand that my frantic pace is mimicked by many women my age with children, careers, and other annoying things like bills, laundry and calling the repairman, but a few weeks back when the kids started school, I zipped foward like a piece of iron moving toward a giant magnet. My feet slipped, I tried to pull back and turn away, but it was no use. Among the cries of where are my cleats and can you come to the school because they stuffed the fundraising packets incorrectly, I got sick. Well, it started with indigestion. Then it moved to acid reflux, severe abdominal pain and odd little heat flashes. My hair started falling out in the shower and I couldn’t eat because the heartburn/indigestion thing was too bad. The more my kids had drama over their damn football pants not fitting right or me forgetting to sign their conduct sheet, the more it hurt. The more I felt like I was drowning. It was scary.
I sat down in front of my computer to write and all I could do was stare at the screen. I didn’t want to visit blogs, twitter or even FB. I shoved away and melted into the recliner.
I didn’t know what to do because this had NEVER happened to me before.
Not handle stress? Hah. I laughed in the face of anxiety, multi-taking like a mother…and I won’t end it like I want to because I’m the confirmation teacher for our church. I’m also the fundraising chair. And the president of my writing chapter. And…..okay, you get the picture.
So here I was unable to control my body. No amount of good thoughts worked. I took a bath, breathed deeply, lit candles. Nope. The pain was still there, the anxiety had me nearly hyperventilating. I didn’t know whether to vomit or sink beneath the water and pretend the world away. Don’t worry. I wasn’t suicidal, but I was going nuts wondering what was happening to strong, can-do Amy (Liz wasn’t invited to this hoorah because she would’t write – this was strictly an Amy Talley thing). I hated feeling that way. Weak and defeated by my own damn body. But I’m no dummy. I made an appointment with my general practioner and we did a little check up and made sure it wasn’t my blood pressure or my gall bladder. He put me on expensive acid reflux medicine (How much do you think Nexium goes for on the street because it was off the charts at my pharmacy?) and talked to me about finding someone to help me. Like a life coach. Oh, my crap. A life coach? But the more I thought about it, the more I knew that I didn’t have time for a life coach or counselor or whatever they’re called. I had stuff to do, man. A deadline. An AFS. A stupid fundraiser to run.
We settled on Wellbutrin.
I’m not sure I need a mood elevator. I’m still wary of it, but the side effects listed weight losss. A happier, calmer, thinner Amy? Um, maybe I do need a mood elevator. LOL. Okay, jury is still out, but the Nexium seems to being doing the job for the most part. And I have vowed to try my best to not get stressed. For example, upon realizing I hadn’t written this blog, I didn’t sweat it. I just used you folks as my therapist. Ah, I’m so much better now. Maybe Liz will come out and play with me tomorrow. She better. She has a deadline.
So what about you? Ever experience enough stress to make you sick? And how do you deal with stress? Any advice?