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XY Thinking ≠ XX Thinking

The contest for Vicki Dreiling’s books is now CLOSED. The winners will be contacted via the email address left in the comment. Winners will have until midnight Thursday Sept. 15 to claim their book. If winners do not claim books by then, new winner(s) will be chosen and contacted on Friday Sept. 16

Thank you for coming by and leaving comments.

 

Remember the phrase “Men are from Mars”? I can’t speak for every man, only for my man, the husband, the fisherman, the love of my life. We do not problem solve in similar manners. Similar? Heck! We aren’t even on the same planet.

I’ve been thinking about WHY men and women are so different. Here’s my theory…Men and women bot get an X chromosome. Look at that X. Two feet on the ground. Stable. Now women get a second X. We are double stable. Men get a Y. Look at that Y. It’s standing on one leg. Everyone stand up and balance on one leg. It’s tough, right? So I’m thinking women = double stable. Men = a tad unbalanced.

Let me give you some REAL examples from my life. Is life different at your house with your man?

Example #1: I sent him to the grocery store with a detailed shopping list. His sister and her family were coming to spend the night and I needed to cook breakfast the next morning. Her family consists of her, two teenagers (one son, one daughter) and one husband. Her husband and mine are large men. She and I are “healthy” women (and the ONLY thing I’ll say about my weight!) And we all know how teenage boys eat. So I’m making breakfast for  6…all food enthusiasts. On his list is biscuits (as I knew I didn’t have time to make them in the morning) and two pounds of bacon. Figure up in your head how many biscuits you’ll need. Think of canned biscuits. How many cans? If you said two, then we agree. If you said 1 and 1/2 cans, then you think like my husband. He buys one regular can of Walmart brand biscuits (10 in can) and one small can of Pillsbury flaky biscuits  ( 5 in the can). At the price that a name brand product like Pillsbury charges, he could have bought another large can of Walmart biscuits. He said he “did the math” and determined that we would need only 15  biscuits. At breakfast, all 15 biscuits were eaten and I suspect another 5 would have been also. And even if there were leftover biscuits, we have a microwave to reheat and eat.

Example #2 I asked him to buy two pounds of bacon. He did but he bought two different kinds. One thick sliced and one regular sliced. Why? I beg someone to explain. Why buy thick sliced? It reduces the number of slices (since he’s buying by the pound) and people eat by the slice. And why buy two different cuts anyway?

Example #3 My darling spouse calls me into the bathroom. I could tell by the tone of his voice there was a problem. When I get there he tells me he accidentally knocked my toothbrush off the counter and onto the rug. Not the dog water bowl. Not the floor of the shower. Not the toilet. On a fairly clean rug. He was concerned about “germs” and thought I might want to get a new toothbrush. Now I ask  you…If  you were “poised” over your honey’s lap, reading to take a big ole bite of his “hot dog”, do you think germs would be on his mind? And do you not think his “lap” might have a few bacteria? I mean it does hang around with a real asshole!

#4 – When my husband offers to “clean up after dinner” he carries the dirty plates and glasses into the kitchen and piles all the mess on the counter above the dishwasher. Is this because the dishwasher is full? He wouldn’t know. He doesn’t open and look! Once when I’d been gone for a few days, I came home to a pile of dirty dished on the counter. I figured the dishwasher was full. Wrong. Totally empty! So “cleaning up after dinner” = piling dirty dishes on counter for me to deal with later.

#5 – I confess that hubby will do the laundry. I know what you’re thinking…That’s Awesome! But wait! He divides the clothes into “smooth” and “rough” and that’s how he loads the washer. You figure it out!

Men and women. We are different creatures!

So, do you have an example of something your honey did (or does) that demonstrates that XY thinking is it’s own world?

I have two autographed books from Vicky Dreiling to give away to a couple of commenters. I’ll announce the book winners on Tuesday.

I’ve read both of these books  and they are wonderful! 

Here is my review of How to Marry A Duke

Here is my review of How to Seduce a Scoundrel 

NOTE: I am reviewing Vicki Lewis Thompson’s next book, A Werewolf in the North Woods over on my personal blog. This book comes out October 4. I have one Advance Reader’s Copy for one lucky commenter. Go to Cyndi’s World and leave a message. This ARC contest will run until Monday Midnight (CST). I’ll announce a winner on Tuesday. One more thing…It’s wonderful!! I read it one night because I couldn’t stop. 🙂 

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37 Responses

  1. I have examples. OH, do I have examples. But I’m not putting a one of them out in the ether because to do so would diminish all of the guilt-cred I eke out of them when I start a sentence with, “Remember when you….?”

  2. Oh my gosh! LOL LOL, On the toothbrush incident, Cyndi 🙂 And brilliant summation of X & Y chromosomes. I’m going to start calling you Dr. D’ Alba. Well done!

  3. You should have explained to him that he could have used the left-over biscuits as fishing bait:-)
    We have a two-story house. Throughout the day, when I find things downstairs that need to go upstairs, I put them on the steps. DH will pass them 15 times without ever taking them up. Does he think I’m using the steps for storage??? ^shrug^
    And the empty toilet paper roll … need I say more?

    • Pam – you ever see that episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where the suitcase sat on the stairs for weeks while Raymond and his wife both waited for the other to carry it up? That could have come directly from our house!

      I had to “housebreak” hubby from leaving his dirty undies on the bathroom floor. Want to know how I did that? We were having a party at our house. He left his undies on the bathroom floor. I left them there. Yep. They were still there when one of the guests (one of my best friends) used the toilet. Fixed that problem immediately! hee hee Yes, yes. I know that was mean. But really? He was old enough to lean over and pick up those bad boys!

  4. Love this blog, Cyndi. It’s so true. I always hold my breath when I send hubby to the grocery store.

    Thanks for the laugh this morning.

    • Sometimes when I’m trying to write, DH will go to the store for me to “help” EXCEPT he’ll call me 3 or 4 times MINIMUM with questions about which product he should buy.

      Sigh.

  5. Too funny Cyndi. I have one of those at home too. Ours is the battle of the socks. he leaves is socks wherever they land and then never picks them up. The dirty clothes hampers are in our closet (in our bathroom) so at least the undie don’t get left on the floor.

    My problem is that he will get done with dinner and wash his plate off then just leave it in the sink. He takes the time to clean it but doesn’t put it in the dishwasher. That never makes sense to me but his excuse is I don’t know if they are clean or dirty – well both Jade and I are sitting right there, ask 🙂

    • You need to get one of those “clean or dirty” magnets for your dishwasher! But really, I don’t get why it is SO HARD for our guys to bend at the waist to place dishes in the washer, do you? And I just hate having to touch those dishes in the sink with cold, nasty (or greasy) water in them just so I can dump the water and load them in the washer. We have a new dishwasher. Dishes don’t need to be rinsed before putting them in…heck, as long as the major globs of food are gone, it can handle some small food particles.

      Socks I have not solved yet. I’ll let you know if I figure that one out.

  6. I’m a germa-phobe, so when he does the dishes he thinks that you don’t have to rinse (or sometimes soak) a dish, before putting it in the dishwasher! Grrr… I thank him and usually wash them again (when he’s busy with something else) lol =D

    emilytardy@yahoo.com

    • I have to carry hand sanitizer for my DH everywhere we go…including church. One day I heard someone whisper to the person beside her…”What is that smell?” It was the alcohol smell from the Purell! hee hee I switched to one that was scented. 🙂

  7. This was too funny, Cynthia. I laughed out loud about the toothbrush. What drives me crazy are his comments about my driving when we’re in the car together. I’m ten years older than he is and he’s been in several accidents that were HIS fault! Not only have I lived in this area longer than he has, but I’ve had obviously more experience. We were in the city I grew up in the other day and he tells me where to turn, then asks if I know where I’m going! Does it look like I’m 100 years old? Geez!

    • I drive most of the time. Not just because we live in the town I grew up in and know all the back roads, but because he’s a jerky driver. NOT he’s a “jerk” (like rude on the road) but he hits gas, off gas, on gas, off gas. It feels like I on a circus ride. I get a tad of motion sickness. So I drive. It makes us both happy

      • I know what you mean, Cynthia. My husband does the “tailgating” thing. It drives me crazy. I’m always picturing the person ahead of us slamming on their brakes and then me going through the front window. Granted, I have on a seatbelt, but still…

  8. Some people like thick slices, some people like thin. I would have come back with 3 or 4 lbs of bacon. 2 for you and then extra to make sure there was enough for me.

    • I also asked for cheddar cheese for sandwiches. He brought home shredded cheddar. Why would he do that?

      And if he had brought home 3 or 4 pounds of bacon, 2 pounds would have gone into the freezer. And that would have been fine. I’m not complaining about thin v thick. I’m wondering why buy two different styles? If you like thick, why not just buy thick sliced?

  9. Okay gang. Today is my mother’s birthday. I need to head out for a while for get a card, flowers and a cake. I’ll be back in a couple of hours.

    But please continue leaving me examples of how your DH thinks differently from you!

  10. Happy birthday to your mom, Cyndi!
    Mine was the clothes hamper. He could pile the clothes on top but couldn’t seem to raise the lid. I even bought on with the step on thingy so it would be hands free. Did that work? Heck no!

    I found a solution to that and all his others problems. I divorced his butt. Don’t mess with me bucky!

    • Thanks, Debbie. I’ll rely your wishes to mom.

      And YES on the clothes hamper. Same here.

      But NO WAY am I letting go of my guy! 🙂 Way more positives than negatives. My point is…we just don’t see the world through the same glasses

      • I’m not suggesting we should toss them all out, Cyndi. LOL I agree their brains work on an entirely different frequency than ours. And if anyone can get more than a shrug or grunt in answer to “Why?” I’d love to hear it.

  11. LOL! Love it!

    I hate when mine puts the orange juice or milk back in the fridge with just one sip left in it. Really? You couldn’t polish it off so you put it back because someone is going to want to pour an inch of orange juice in their glass the next morning? Okay.

    Or the old empty box on the shelf where you think there’s still a cookie inside, but SURPRISE! which means you have to settle for the five stale teddy grahams that fell out behind the can goods.

    I could go on and on, but my husband is probably neater and more organized than me. He’s also not as lazy as I am…other than letting his clothes collect on the chair in our room.

    Fun topic!

    • same here with the milk, and cokes, and toilet paper.

      It’s not that I’m complaining about our DHs. I’m just saying they don’t THINK like we think.

      Liz – Ask your hubby WHY he leaves only a sip of milk in the jug. I’d love to hear his rationale.

  12. What a chuckle-fest from everybody! I love it (not) when my DH decides to tidy up. It looks fabulous when he’s done, but I can never find anything when he’s finished. And why can men not see anything that’s behind or under something? Even though the thing is clearly visible? GRRR!

    • Same here. When I’m gone for a few days and hubby is required to unload the dishwasher, he puts things in the oddest places!

      Once he washed a silk jacket (back in the day when shoulder pads were in) You cannot imagine what that thing looked like. Straight to the trash.

  13. I have no examples. I’m laughing too hard to type and shaking my head too hard to see the screen.

    Thanks for brightening up my cloudy Friday afternoon.

    Barbara

  14. Gender bias is one of my hot buttons. I do NOT believe that there is one way men are and one way women are. My husband doesn’t do any of the things mentioned here, and most of the stereotypes about men and women, we’re the opposite. (Bill Engvall’s wife bits kill me because he could be describing my husband, and I’m exactly like Bill!)

    HOWEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    There are traits of my husbands that have nothing to do with his gender that drive me INSANE.

    He puts dishes in the dishwasher no problem. But his loading style makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE. If I see it, I end up rearranging it and fitting in at least twice as many items.

    He also moseys. We can’t walk anywhere together because when we do, if I didn’t stop every ten feet, I’d be a mile ahead of him in 20 minutes.

    And it took over a decade to get him to take the lids off bottles before putting them in the recycling.

    • I don’t necessarily believe that women are better thinkers than men, however, I do think that men and women do view the world from different perspectives.

      The dishwasher…okay I’ll confess that hubby HAS loaded the dishwasher a couple of times. and I’ll confess that after he left the room, I reloaded it as he loaded it MADE NO SENSE!

      Sigh.

      I’m the moseier. I’m usually dragging behind him.

      • I do think that men and women do view the world from different perspectives

        See, I don’t. I think there’s way too much variation to be able to create a dividing line like that. Groups of men and groups of women who might share those perspectives? Sure! But when there are as many (or more) exceptions as examples, the labeling doesn’t work. 🙂

        There are scientific studies that seem to show that men’s and women’s brains are physically wired differently, though, I have to concede that. But if that accounts for the dishwasher thing, then why are there so many successful male engineers? 🙂

  15. My hubby is a mystery to me all the time. If you take him with you shopping, better know exactly what you’re getting because he isn’t hanging around Amy longer than necessary.

    • Here’s the funny thing…my hubby will go shopping before I will. However, like your husband, he doesn’t have a lot of “staying power!”

      • Funnier thing: My husband LOVES shopping. He’s always pouting or grumping around because not only do I hate it, so do our girls. We have to drag them out of the house for clothes or school shopping, and when we go, I’m “get in, get what we need, get out.” He can spend an entire day in the mall, just for fun! LOL

        • I DESPISE Shopping with the passion of 10,000 suns! It has ceased to surprise me when DH comes home with clothes, meaning he’s gone clothes shopping with me (for himself. Shopping for me is a total no-no)

          Here’s the other thing…he’s the emotional one, the one of us who “saves” cards and other mementos. Me? I toss everything. I get attached to very little (except my dogs!)

          • Oh, yeah, my husband is the mushface. I save things because I think I’m supposed to (though I do have a few really special cards and stuff).

            Similarly, when the kids were little and we went away for the weekend, he was always the one calling home every couple of hours and missing the kids, while I was always “woo hoo!” LOL

  16. Fun post Cyndi! Yesterday DH calls me “Do you need anything nonperishable from the grocery store?”

    ….

    nonperishable? I’ve never heard my husband use that word in my life. it was code for, I have to go to the grocery store. I don’t want to buy a bunch of stuff but you’ll gripe if you found I went without asking first.

    all I wanted was some kleenex! …and penciles. oh wait and something. but now I can’t remember what. 😀

  17. Loved the biscuit and bacon story.

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