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Hide Your Candy

On my mind today is the topic of pets. Mainly because all of mine sit with me each day as I write. Okay, not the cat. She does what the hell she wants, but my dogs sit faithfully within petting distance cheering me on in their own doggy way as I pound out the words on my keyboard.

Thing is I love my animals…and I hate them.

Why you may ask?

Because they are trouble. Especially Georgia, the lab. First, let me make a disclaimer. She’s a sweet, sweet beautiful dog. But she’s also destructive. My husband wanted a duck dog. He researched breeders and found one nearby with an excellent reputation. So off we went to “look” at them and back we came with three-month old Georgia. The first night she slept like an angel. The second night she pooped on the oldest child’s carpet…a stain that couldn’t be removed. Then the chewing started. She chewed everything. My custom-made leather ottomon, the dang wood trim on the cabinet, and her absolute favorite – my throw pillows. Away she went for six months to duck school. Oh, Lord, the bill that came each month! You don’t even want to know how much. Trust me. Then back she came, trained, obedient and ready to hunt. Uh, yeah, right.

So, she’s particularly on my mind because last night (Mon.) while we were at one of the kid’s football game, Georgia went shopping on the counter and found a huge bag of candy my son left out. And being a canine of little intelligence (and not being able to read about all those calories!) she ate the whole bag, wrappers and all. The kid freaked out because he’d promised that candy to someone and then there were accusations, shouting, sighs, maybe even a few tears.

And this morning there was vomit on the youngest child’s bed.

I know what you’re thinking….why don’t they crate the stupid dog?

You have a point.

I think we’ll be getting one of those very soon because I’m tired of stuffing on the ground, bread bags torn to peices (she’s a carb loader) and teeth marks on the wainscoating. So more money will be spent. Because we haven’t spent enough on toys she chews up immediately, special food for her dry skin, medicine for her dry skin, and special oil to go on her food for dry skin.

Yeah, yeah. I know. But I love her. And her faithful companion, Ike, the Boston Terrier. So far Ike wins behavior-wise. And, yes, I picked him out. 🙂

So do you have pets that drive you to distraction? Pets that you love to distraction? Both?


36 Responses

  1. I always thought I was a dog lover. Then we got a dog. LOL I’m just a dog liker, and I don’t want another one.

    Dolly was sweet and loving and gentle, but we got a golden retriever because they’re supposed to be smart dogs. She was the dumbest dog I’ve ever met. I was her person, and she wouldn’t leave me alone. I loved her, but it got tiring to have her always two inches off my left ankle. And she wasn’t destructive, but the messes that weren’t her fault drove me just as insane.

    We had a candy incident, too. She was on prednisone post surgery, and it made her ravenous. She stole a box of Godiva out of my desk, and ate half, and ate an entire box of cheaper mints, including the tray they were in!

  2. Oh no, Liz! Georgia sounds like quite a handful.

    I’m like Natalie. (Big surprise, right?) I grew up with dogs, and when I quit working I decided my boys should know the joy of having one. Wow, stupid.

    We got a golden retriever too. She’s actually awesome, and not *too* stupid, maybe just stubborn. We crated her from day one, and it’s her home, her refuge from the stress of vacuum cleaners and late night typing sessions. It’s been a huge help. We didn’t lose many precious things to chewing in her puppy years, and now she’s trustworthy (but still in locked crate at night or when we’re gone).

    I’m used to having her around, and I enjoy when she sits near me while I write, but when she’s gone, we’re done with pets. Turns out I just “like” dogs too. And even if I were a cat person, I’m allergic.

  3. I “like” dogs too. And I really do love my dogs, but having children and dogs at the same times is craziness.

    And guess what? Here’s the biggest irony of the day – this morning my husband got up to take the boys to Bible study and guess what he found? Yep. Georgia had gotten sick all over the kitchen and sunroom. He’s not nearly as patient as I am. He made threats, the boys started crying, and I had to get up on the one morning I can sleep in and clean up, well, unwelcome stuff.

    So, I told my husband that as I wrote this last night that all I could think is that we are idiots. We have the power to prevent her from taking over our house and that power is called a crate. Today is a new day…and after she stops throwing up, she’ll be meeting her new home.

    And I will likely always have a dog, but there will be no more labradors in my house.

  4. Dogs are a lot of work…sort of like having a toddler under foot for years and years. I adore my Maggie, my border collie. However, she is digging in the back yard…something my other BC never did. My husband said yesterday that she is killing our yard…a death by a thousand cuts. And it’s not just the digging. She comes into the house with muddy feet, which I have to clean and some times it’s so bad I had to take her to the shower to wash them as they are too muddy for just a towel. And should I mention that I found sticks in my bed last night? I kept getting poked and found “someone” had left little sticks and leaves on my side of the bed.

    We had a lab a few years ago. They are KNOWN for being chewers. That dog (Freida) chewed up my cedar wood swing. Not happy.

    I have to vacuum at least 3x a week, although I should do it more often for all the dog hair AND the parrot seeds and dander. As messy as my dogs are, at least they love me. The parrot makes a HUGE mess and hates me on top of that. He loves the husband. He wishes I would go away!

    On the other hand, research shows that petting an animal lowers your blood pressure. Plus research shows that people who own pets live longer. So I guess I’ll have pets for a while!

    • I don’t get that petting thing. I dont’ like my dog to lick or breathe on me with his nasty dog breath. nothing happening for my blood pressure here.

    • Muddy paws are the worst. Had them when we lived out in the country. Now our backyard is thick grass and their feet are dry by the time they cross the patio.

      Kinda sweet she brings you sticks though.

      BTW, Hogs have a big game this weekend. Think I’ll be rooting for the hogs, but I refuse to call the hogs 🙂

      • we are 11.5 pts underdogs. I am NOT optimistic about our changes! Going into Alabama-land is a tough contest every year, even when they aren’t ranked #3!

        As far as grass…yeah, we used to have grass until Maggie came along!

        • See, I am optimistic. I’m not sure Bama’s proven anything. They haven’t played anyone to test them. Y’all will do that. I like your chances and I’d bet on Arky…if I bet at sports.

  5. Let’s talk about two indoor-only cats that I haven’t declawed. Let’s talk about leather furniture. On second thought…let’s not.

    • Good example of why I’ll never be able to have a cat.

    • My cats are outside cats. Occasionally they get in the house and I find them sleeping in a weird place. Usually the kids closets after they’ve knocked the clothes off the shelf, of course.

      We are currently down a cat. Sweetheart went missing in a storm about three weeks ago. Haven’t seen her since, but I did see a coyote in the neighborhood. Of course, we told the kids she ran away. Better than she was breakfast for a wild animal.

      She was the best pet out of all of them.

    • We don’t have the leather furniture, but we have a well-clawed sofa and shredded (wooden) dining room chairs. One of the cats did a number on the ladder to the kids’ loft before it was retired, too!

  6. I have a dog and he is not bright. However…the cluegun reached the Ford house a lot faster than it did the Talleys. My dog has been crated at night and while we’re gone ever since he was about 1 and jumped on the couch and took my glasses!! Yes. my glasses. chewed on them. he didn’t get the lens (thank god) but chewed up the plastic padding thing that goes over the ear. I think dh was afraid he’d wake up to a dead dog the next morning.

    Liz, I drapped a heavy blanket/towels over the crate. it’s his little hidey-hole. most of the time he lays in his “cave”and heads that way if the kid gets too rough.

    • I’ve used them before with my other dogs…and get this – we have one in the attic! Yes, I’m phenomonally stupid. It’s coming down today and Georgia’s days of roaming the house, eating whatever she wishes are over! Over, I say!

    • Keri is right. My dog does not mind going into her craft. When we leave the door open, it’s not uncommon to find one or both of the dogs in there! Imagine a 35 lb border collie and a 75 lb retriever both crammed into a kennel. Their choice.

      But they love that kennel. It’s a lifesaver at times.

      When we first got Jill (the retriever), she took my diamond watch into the backyard! I didn’t know until I couldn’t find it but I suspected the culprit. So I began searching the grass. I could not believe I found it!

      And let’s not talk about all the bras, panties, and socks we have rescued from the yard.

      • We crated one dog (my inlaws’ when we petsit for a while) who hated it so much—chewed the hell out of parts of it, and bent the wires, and managed to escape half the time—that I just kind of assumed that it was hated punishment, and never wanted to do it to another dog!

        ‘Course, Dolly was huge, and a suitable kennel would have taken up a quarter of my living room, or half my bedroom!

  7. Too funny. We have a Black lab that we’ve had for 16 years in Nov. He’s getting to be an old man. I’m afraid he’s going to have to be put down soon because he is having so much problems with his hips. My husband will curl up in a ball that day because this is his child!!!!

    He’s an outside dog but is good when he comes in. He stayed in the house when he was a puppy but never really chewed on anything. We kept him well stocked with Tennis balls and pig ears. We had to cage him (rather than crate him) about 5 years ago through a bout of heart worms. We keep the cage so if it gets too cold outside for the old man, we can put him in the cage in the garage during the winter.

    • I can’t do tennis balls or anything with a bit of clothe on it. my dog rips that stuff off! I can do husband’s holey socks for a couple days and he LOVES them. but that’s all they last before he’s worked the threads loose and I start worrying about choking.

  8. Just an update. Had to take poor Georgia to the vet. She’s been sick all day, so I feel a little bad for maligning her when she was down. I’m hoping that she hasn’t eaten anything that’s stuck in her digestive system.

    But we’re still getting the crate down. She’ll have her own little comfy home to come home to.

  9. Final update. The candy basically poisoned George and she has to stay at the vet’s on iv and string antibiotics. No I feel crappy for complaining. Poor girl.

    • Aww, poor thing. Hope she recovers quickly!

    • I wondered about all the candy…wondered if it was chocolate. I’ve heard many times that chocolate can be toxic for dogs.

      Keep us posted in the google loop. I know I’ll worry about George until he’s home.

    • I hope that Georgia is ok. One of my brother’s dogs got ahold of his diabetes medicine and ate the entire bottle. We were really worried about him too for awhile. My brother had just gotten out of the hospital where he had been pretty sick.

    • Oh, Liz! So sorry to hear this. Hope she feels much better today. It must have something to do with the breed, because we too have a Golden who lives to sneak candy, granola bars, you name it, out of the kids lunch boxes or off the counter. One year it was the rest of my daughter’s chocolate birthday cake!

      She’s almost eleven now and sleeps pretty much all day. After the puppy stage ended around three years old, the chewing and distruction stopped. We don’t crate her and she doesn’t tear things up. She’s an awesome watch dog with a bark like no other. Hope this gives you something to look forward to. Big dogs just belong outside I’m afraid. I’ve learned that one the hard way. LOL

    • Aw, poor dog. But try not to feel crappy for complaining. The frustration with the mess (and the fact that she got up on the counter!) is independent of her being sick.

      Hope she recovers okay.

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