Poop!

I know you’re wondering why you’re even reading this with that horrendous blog title, but I also know that it’s human nature to want to get the scoop on the poop. So I better grab you while I’ve got you.

You see there’s a lot of poop in life (as if you didn’t know). That’s reality. And it makes me think of that book that I use to read my kids called “Everybody Poops”

But that’s not really the poop I’m talking about here.

This morning I got up with the intention of writing this blog and having it posted in a timely manner. Well, haha, I should have done it last night no matter how tired I was, but that’s the story of my life. Any how, the internet was down. After saying many ugly words I called AT&T and readied myself to give them an earful. Well, after going through lots and lots of info, my modem reset itself. Yeah. Yay. So meanwhile, I had put on an omelet to cook and the smoke alarm went off. Oh, yeah, I forgot about it. So I dashed, flung, waved the towel at the smoke alarm and then decided I needed more coffee. Sat down at the computer right on time to host the very first chat/sprint session of the Ruby Slippered Sisterhood’s Winter Writing Fest. It wently swimmingly and I even got some editing done on the book due in next week. All is well. So I take a shower. I’m just in the middle of soaping up my hair into a mohowk when I realize I didn’t do my post.

So I said “POOP!” (Or if I’m being honest, the other word for poop)

And since I couldn’t jump out without conditioning and shaving my pits, I did a little thinking about what I’d intended to blog about…which was not nearly as inspiring as Rachael’s post yesterday.

So I decided to go the opposite of sweet and blog about the poop in our lives.

I’ve been needing to lose about 25-30 extra pounds I’ve been toting around now for a good while. I’m not obese, but as I grow older that weight is weighing me down (duh!) and I find that my face looks puffy and my coordination is not as good, nor is my flexibility or stamina. This year I’ll turn 40. No big deal. Happy I’m still around, but I need to lose some weight while more importantly get healthy. And that’s where the poop comes in. Ever known any nasty people who have animals and you go to their house and you spot a pile of dried up poop? I’m sure you don’t know anyone like this, but I’ve seen these people on TV and I’ll have to admit I think I’ve been to one of these house. They’re too lazy to pick it up or something so they pretend it’s not sitting in the middle of their living room. No longer smells bad and it’s part of the scenery. Bear with me. I know it’s tough.

So I figure my weight issue is kinda like that dried up poop. I’m used to it…so is everyone else…so it just sort of sits there. Oh, I have the thought,  “Maybe I should get rid of that” every now and then. I even start after it with the right tools, but somehow at the end of the day, it’s still there.

This morning during my crazy-assed crisis of burnt omelet and internet panic, I texted a friend who’d lost over 30 lbs on Weight Watchers. I asked about it and she texted the info. The last thing she said was, “It was hard, but worth it.”

Kinda like that hard poop sitting in the middle of my room.

And, really, this goes for anything in your life that is sitting disgustingly there while you walk around it, pretending for the world that you don’t see the crap in your life that needs changing. It could be you’re ignored a person you need to deal with, or it could be your health, your finanaces, the desire the finish the darn book. Anything at all. Cause we all got crap in our lives that needs to be scooped up and dealt with. I’ve got other piles, trust me. But the one I really need to stop pretending isn’t there is this nice muffin top hanging over my jeans along with it’s twinsie peeking out beneath the back of my bra. So I’m going to do it. And you’re here to bear witness (and I suppose Keri will smack things out of my hand during the NOLA conference). I’m about to scoop the poop….and join Weight Watchers.

So your turn….you got any poop you need to get rid of?

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10 Responses

  1. Ha, what a, uh, great metaphor, Liz! It’s amazing how well our blinders work. My house never looks that bad until I’m cleaning for company and see it through their eyes.

    So, um, poop. For me it’s all that time spent doing unnecessary things when I should/could be writing. The other thing is sleep. These are actually linked because if I get the things I want/need done during the day, it’ll be easier for me to go to bed earlier. I never want to go to bed early. The night owl in me balks–or hoots loudly–but I can’t keep up this disrupted schedule I have going on.

    So that’s the scoop on my poop. 😉 Good luck with WW!

    • I think getting rest is a huge thing people avoid..um, cuz they’re too busy to sleep. But we KNOW getting rest is super important for productivity. I find I like it when everyone else is in bed because I’m ALONE! Which is a lovely feeling for a busy mom.

      Yeah, I’m good with analogies, huh? LOL

  2. Fantastic post, Liz. Your imagery—beginning to end—is fantastic!

    I’ll start by saying (because I have to) that I’m just like Gwen! LOL I hate to go to bed and would be best if I could sleep from around 2:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. and work on my own schedule. Kids and day job make that impossible, so I sleep from 1:00 a.m. to 6:21 a.m. Then I sleep late on the weekends.

    But I’m like you, Liz, too, except I am obese. I used to be in better shape, but since I went back to a day job and kept the freelance job and sold a bunch of books, there’s no time to exercise. Still, I’m healthy, so it’s hard to take on the task. PLUS, when you eat dinner at 6ish and stay up until midnight, you’re hungry again!

    So those are the perpetual things on my “scoop the poop” list. 🙂

    • Yeah, having kids changes everything. Or at least that’s what the commercial says. But it’s true. They change our schedules, but mine are nearing the age where they can take care of themselves which means I can sleep a little later. Not much but some.

      I’m not looking forward to Weight Watchers but I need accountability. So guess I’m headed to give it a whirl.

      • Jeanette Murray started the P.I.N.K diet. lots of fish in the first couple weeks. if you haven’t signed onto WW, you might check that one out too. she’s having success so far!

  3. *moment to brag* 4 1/2 pounds gone since Jan 1. *wootwoot*. I have to say, I started struggling around this time last year to get in shape. Stevens will tell you. She was a big huge help in getting me going. but I reached a point where it didn’t matter how hard I worked out, how well I counted calories, the weight just wasn’t freaking budging. I’d drop a pound, next day be up 2. so frustrating.

    in the fall I noticed my mood being always in a state we’ll call…crabby. got on new birth control pills right before the holidays and by January I’d leveled out and got my diet back focused. And just like, the weight is literally falling off. last few days I’m loosing about .3lbs a day.

    so my poop? I’m getting rid of it now too.

    • Lol. I guess so.

      I’ve always struggled with my weight. Built very stocky with big bones, barrel chest and big muscles so I’ll never be slim. But I can be slimmer. I do think I need to join a group for encouragement. Think I’ll do best with that. You’re lucky to have Keri riding your butt 🙂

  4. So very well said! I’ve finally gotten to the point where I’m tired of seeing that crusty old poop sitting around in the form of extra pounds. For a long time I dragged my booty on diet and exercise but now I’m actually exercising several days a week. I’m getting better on the diet stuff…but I need to clean that poop up too. 😀 Thanks for the reminder.

    • Thanks, Sonia 🙂 I wish you the best on your mission to create a better body and overall health. I know it won’t be easy for me, but I hope you find the path smooth.

  5. So much poop here, Liz. LOL If I had to pick one though, it would be the procrastination. I start off so good, making lists and planning out the day. I can’t believe the silly things I let distract me from my goals. grrrr….

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