My husband and I will celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary this month. Somehow, even though the crazy, frenzied part of our romance has settled, something much deeper, and much stronger, has taken its place.
That’s not to say that spark isn’t still there. Just that I don’t pine for him every minute he’s gone—and thank goodness, or I’d never get anything done!—like I did in the beginning.
I love these definitions of romance by the Free Dictionary: a. A love affair. b. Ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people; love.
Something about “ardent emotional attachment” really speaks to me. In a lot of people’s minds—I think especially those who aren’t sure how to show their feelings—romance has come to mean cards, flowers, jewelry, and a nice dinner. While all of those things are great—and might show that the other person was thinking about you during the day—I don’t believe you can sustain a long-term relationship on gifts.
Why? Because ardent emotional attachment requires action. A necklace is not ardent. A love affair requires action. There’s no passion in a flower. Okay, maybe a card with nicely thought out sentiments, but still. Just like in writing where we’re constantly reminded to show the emotion, romance demands action.
The phone call from work just to say “hi”. The unexpected shoulder rub. The willingness to listen. A kiss on the back of the neck while making dinner…
Those actions say “love” far better than any card or box of candy ever could. And when the romance is there every day, then the rare occasions when I do get gifts are that much more special.
That’s my idea of romance. What about you?
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