Anatomy of a Spam Mail

I don’t normally read spam mail. I couldn’t tell you what caused me to do it with this one, but I did. And now I skim it whenever it comes into my box. It cracks me up!

 

SUBJ: MESSAGEFROM CAPT.ANITA GEORGE

 

Okay, that’s probably what caught my attention. Instead of telling me about prize winnings or begging for help from one of the ex-Namibian president’s five hundred widows, this sounded American. So I read.

 

I know you will be surprised to read my email. I got your contact from your Email domain, apart from being surprise you may be skeptical to reply me because based on what is happening on the internet world, one has to be very careful because a lot of scammers are out there to scam innocent citizens and this has made it very difficult for people to believe anything that comes through the internet but this is a different case.

 

Oh, you got my contact from my Email domain? That would be illegal. Nice start.

I’m definitely skeptical to reply me because there’s no such thing as a different case.

 

I am an American and you should be rest assured that I cannot be invovled in scam.

 

Oh, that’s a relief. Americans are ALL trustworthy. Even if they suck at spelling and typing. And basic grammar. Oh, by the way? Your run-on sentences and typos might not be un-American, but your grammar patterns definitely are. So here’s a free tip: Hire an editor. You’ll get more gullible Nancies that way!

My name is Capt. Anita George , a member of the U.S. ARMY USARPAC MedicalTeam, which was deployed to Iraq at the beginning of the war in Iraq. Although the war has ended, for me to proved this to you, see the site below for more information,
Of course, I didn’t go to the sites, though they look like actual news articles published online in November and December 2011. The blog/post names reference troop withdrawal celebrations and no parades for returning troops. I really can’t fathom how they would prove that anitageorge000001@yahoo.co.jp is an American captain in the U.S. Army.
But I refused to come along with them inrespective of the fact that the war has ended.
I’m confused. Does that mean the war hasn’t ended, or that you don’t care that the war has ended? Oh, hold on, that’s not relevant. This isn’t about the war, actually.
The reason for this is that I deposited two consignment boxes with a security company in Iraq. As a result of this, I have to escape and stayed behind to make sure that I am able to get these boxes out before coming to America, knowingly, that if I am able to get this done I will live a better life.
Hmm, this sounds familiar. It’s not exactly the premise of the movie “Three Kings,” but there are suspicious similarities.
Please, I want this to be between me and you Since I am at large.
To Prove my sincererity, you are not sending me any money. Because most of this scam is about sending money.
Oh, good. I’m glad to know most of this scam is about sending money. Otherwise, I’d think you were just trying to make friends.
A big section following refers me to a supposed BBC link and VOA news and asks me to get back to her to discuss in a more clarifying manner. But THEN.
I must say that I’m very uncomfortable sending this message to you without knowing truly if you would misconstrue the importance and decides to go public.
I am so. insulted. How dare she impugn my integrity?! Oh…um…I guess I am going public, huh? Never mind.
So supposedly, visiting those NEWS MEDIA sites will tell me her intentions, but it has to stay between us. She finishes by asking for my full name, address, occupation, and age. Because those things won’t help her, say, steal my identity or anything.
So what’s the funniest spam mail you’ve gotten lately?
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10 Responses

  1. Oh for Pete’s sake. who would EVER believe something like this? And why oh why would anybody give their personal information to someone that don’t know who sends them an email ASKING for it?

    I LOVE your commentary. It’s a lot like my reaction when I get these. You’d be amazed at the number of lotteries I’ve won…Lotteries I never entered! I just know I’ve let millions and millions on the table by not responding to these lottery notices (mostly Swiss and Canadian.)

    I have to agree with you. For an “American” Capt. George needs some English grammar lessons!

    Very funny!

    • I think very young people who don’t yet have the life experience to suss out scammers, and very old people who might have confusion, etc., are the usual victims.

      The Nigerian scam originated in the 1940s and was done via mail, then fax, then e-mail. This is a variation of that. It wouldn’t have lasted so long if people didn’t fall for it! 😦

  2. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! This just cracks me up! You gotta wonder if these people ever get a response. If not, what keeps them motivated to continue trying? Yet who in their right mind would respond?

    There must be something very special in those consignment boxes if the lady chose to stay behind after the war ended. I’m just sayin’…

  3. My favorite spam? Sunday I replied to a comment on my own blog, which generated an automatic email letting me know there was a new comment on my blog, which my email program promptly diverted to my spam file.

    In other words, I spammed myself.

  4. Wow, the nerve, huh? I get spam in the ol’ spam box but rarely check it. Every now and then something will pique my interest, but mostly I ignore. What I really hate is the spam that pops up making you think your virus protection has expired…it looks so real, and I’ll admit to having been suckered by that once. I mean, I freak if I think I’m open to a virus. And then I click it and get a virus. %&&*^%$!@!!!!

    I’ve also fallen for the fan who wants me to mail her a bookplate. Nothing a writer wants to hear more than “I love your books, can you send me _____?” And that led to the highjacked email address and lots and lots of grief.

    So, I ‘m a little bit of a sucker, but I don’t think Anita would be getting my email, age and address.

    Jeez.

    • Liz, it boggles my mind that you rarely check your spam box! I get legitimate e-mails in there ALL THE TIME. I also get irate e-mails from people who claim I never responded who then find me in their spam folder.

      My kids have both fallen for the fake virus thing. PISSES me off! I would have fallen for the bookmark thing, but I didn’t have any bookmarks to send to Palestine when I was asked.

      I HAVE fallen for other things, though. People are clever, and even smart people can be stupid! 😦

  5. I don’t remember the exact wording, but a few weeks ago I had 2 in a row. The subject lines were something like.

    “How to have anal sex easier.”
    “One-of-a-kind Pills for enlargement and bigger girth!”

    not unnormal spam (at least not for me) but that was my first time noticing what was being marketed to me back to back.

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