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Never Eat Lunch Before Buying a Mattress – Guest Post by Lynn Raye Harris

I adore Lynn Raye Harris. She’s a wonderful writer, a USA Today Best Selling Author, and a hoot on Twitter. One day while she was on a Twitter rant (I forget the subject of her rant), I twisted her (figurative) arm into blogging with us today. I warn you…I found myself laughing out loud and scaring my dogs when I read her post for today!  So take it away, Lynn!

When Cynthia asked me if I would guest blog, I practically tripped over myself saying yes.  Because a) I like Cynthia and b) I was positive I’d have something to say since I would have a book that just came out.

Of course I’ve been talking about this book in a few places now, and it’s not as easy to come up with something new to say as I thought it would be.  What haven’t I already said about Raj Vala and Veronica St. Germaine?

He’s ex-Special Forces and the head of a security company.  She’s a reformed bad girl who’s been elected president of her tiny island nation.  Someone doesn’t like that she’s now the president.  Someone wants her gone.  This is where Raj comes in.  It’s his job to protect her.

Blah, blah blah.  You don’t want to hear all that, right?  You can click over to my website or to Amazon or Barnes & Noble to find out what the book is about.  (It’s about Raj Vala, the sexy bodyguard, and Veronica St. Germaine, the President of Aliz.  There’s sex and passion and thumping hearts and all that stuff.)

No, what’s really interesting (or at least it is to me) is how I left the house one innocent Friday two weeks ago with the intent to buy a mattress.  But I came home with a new SUV instead.  Or Mr. Harris did, I should say.

How does this happen?  How does one go out for a mattress and buy a car?  Let me tell you how it happened to me in the hopes that I can save you from the same thing.

Never, ever go to lunch before buying a mattress.  This was my mistake.  I allowed Mr. Harris to take me to lunch at a lovely little bistro that just opened up in our town.  I ate too much.  Who wants to lie on mattresses when they’ve eaten too much?  Not me.

I’m a stomach sleeper, so I was going to need to test a bunch of mattresses by lying on them face down.  On a full stomach.  This was never going to work, so when I explained the dilemma to my lovely husband, he had an alternate plan.

“Let’s go look at that SUV I like again.  Just for fun.”

Sure, just for fun.  Clearly, I was in a stupor from the food, or I would have seen this for what it was.  But no, I went along.  Three hours later, we drove off the lot in a brand new car.

There’s a lesson here.

Don’t be like me.  Don’t eat before going mattress shopping and don’t let your husband talk you into a little side trip to the car dealer while your food digests. It can only end badly.

Cyndi again…I warned you to set down your coffee before you read that, so don’t blame me for spitting on your screen!  LOL Lynn’s latest book is below. I know she’d love you to pick it up!

The news that wild socialite Veronica St. Germaine has cleaned up her act and stepped into her father’s shoes as ruler of a Mediterranean principality creates a tabloid frenzy! But it’s not just the paparazzi that are out for blood.…Duty demands that bodyguard Rajesh Vala must protect Veronica—whatever the cost.… But Veronica has always rebelled against commands, and she isn’t making Raj’s job easy!

He calls it safeguarding. She calls it being held captive at his beach house. Both realize that the attraction between them is inconvenient.… Veronica is forbidden, not for bedding!

Harlequin Presents (June 19, 2012)
ISBN-10: 0373130805 ♦ ISBN-13: 978-0373130801
Amazon | Kindle | Barnes & Noble Nook | Harlequin | Harlequin ebook


38 Responses

  1. Yeah, Lynn, but I’d much rather bring home a new car than a mattress! Score! Enjoy.

    Oh, and Cyndi, you need to move your book cover away from the comment box – I keep getting distracted. 😉

    Man, I never get tired of that cover.


    Seriously, I stalk her across conference sites. If you stalk her, ask her for A BAG. She’s got the best bright red HUGE promo totes which can hold everything. I flash her name all over my local Kroger when I’m feeling eco-friendly.

  3. Hey Lynn – Welcome to the Blog!!!!

    You know I’m a huge fan of both you and your books. I enjoy visiting with you on Twitter and you are so much fun!!!

    Hubby and I bought new bedroom furniture 2 years ago but we made the mistakeof not buying a new mattress. We had never had matching furniture and we bought the whole bedroom suit that matched. Now 2 years later and we still need a new mattress and we are not in agreement about the type to get. i want it softer (I miss my waterbed I had for years) and he wants it firmer. This will be interesting 🙂

    Again, good luck on your new book!!

  4. Congrats on the new car. I LOVE the “new car” smell and no, the stuff car washes want to squirt in your car that they claim is “new car smell” isn’t! I know quite a few people who have the small SUV. They all love driving it! Plus you bought a red one! I love red cars…but then so do cops writing speeding tickets. Just take that as the warning it is! LOL

    Glad to have you here

    • I love that smell too! My car hasn’t had that in a very long time. But with this job, I can’t justify replacing my car. It sits in the garage unless I need to run errands, meet friends for lunch, or go to a chapter meeting. One of the benefits of working at home! Or one of the drawbacks, since I really want some newfangled electronics in my car. Mine doesn’t even have an ipod hookup!

  5. Lynn!!! So happy to see you hear! (Lynn and I go way back to prepubbed day!) Wecome to ELALR! You totally got into the spirit of things here with your post:-D I can totally see DH coming home with the new car … Or boat … Or truck. He would claim we needed it to haul the mattress.
    And seconds to what Keri said about the totes. They’re great!

    • Pam!!! One of my favorite people, and yes, we do go back a ways. You were an awesome roommate in San Francisco and DC! We’ve come a long way in a short time, haven’t we? Can’t wait to see you in Anaheim and celebrate your book!

      • Always ready for a reason to celebrate! Looking forward to visiting in Anaheim. And in my previous post, hear should have been here;-) (((hugs)))

  6. Bound to be a good book. Nuff said. I’m not a stomach sleeper so not problem there.

  7. Talk about a GREAT lunch date. LOL. Maybe that’s my problem, I always have dh take me to dinner–not lunch. If I picked an earlier hour, maybe he’ll have more energy for those big purchases. 🙂 Congrats on the new toy…err, SUV and the comfy mattress–a must have.

    Love the cover and blurb. Am looking forward to reading it.

  8. Lynn, you are such a talented writer and it shows in this hilarious tale.
    Maybe next time you should go out to buy a car and you might end up with the mattress 🙂
    I’ve read Captive yet Forbidden and I loved it! No surprise there.

  9. I mean Captive BUT Forbidden. Can you tell it’s Friday??!

  10. This was going to be the year I bought a new mattress because the one I got in the divorce is about 12 years old and getting lumpy. But I got a new car instead because last December 30 I t-boned the car that pulled out in front of me and totaled my car. The new one was a necessity. I should be able to claim a new mattress as a medical expense since I’m having neck surgery next week because the whiplash has caused pinched nerves. Don’t you think that’s a good argument? I think I’ll run that one by the insurance company. ~rolls eyes~ When I’m ready to buy a mattress I’ll give you a call and get your recommendations.

  11. If I had to choose between the mattress and the car, I’d take the car. LOL.

  12. Love this post and hope the new SUV is fun to drive. Wondering where that new bistro in town is located because you know I love to find a new place to eat that’s yummy.

    I can’t wait to read your new book!


  13. Sorry to be so late welcoming you to the blog, Lynn, but…welcome to the blog! 🙂

    I am going to employ your husband’s strategy. 🙂 My car is 14 years old this month and forget iPod hookup, it still has an actual lighter socket. (Lighter is in the glove box, I think, and USB charger is in the socket. I use a cassette adapter to play my iPod! LOL)

    Your book sounds great, and apparently I need to follow you on Twitter. 🙂 Thanks again for guesting!

    • Hi, Natalie! Thanks so much for the welcome. My personal car is 9 years old. It also has a lighter! But it’s German made and there was NO option to leave that out at the time when we ordered the car. I am really envying those modern electronics! Mr. Harris is enjoying his new vehicle and making me jealous with the ease of syncing phone to car.

  14. Lynn,
    That was just as funny as it was 2 weeks ago.

  15. Yes, Welcome Lynn! I will definitely keep your warning in mind next time we need a new mattress, which should have been a few years ago. LOL We just keep turning the sucker over and over. 🙂 Your book sounds like my kind of story!

  16. LOL oh dear! I hope you’ve since gotten the new mattress too!

    congrats on the release and sorry for the late response!

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