Mixing Things Up

Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it.
~ Thomas Fuller

My husband travels – a lot.  So naturally it’s a foregone conclusion that he will be gone on occasion, and I will have to accept it.  Recently, though, I had the opportunity to turn the tables on him.  I left for a week to attend Romance Writers of America’s National Conference.  Had a lovely time, learned bunches, and caught up with old and new friends.  And this time, my husband stayed home without me.

I called friends before I left and said, “Check in on him, will you?  He’ll be all by himself.”  They did, and I was so appreciative.  But still I could hear the edge and loneliness in his voice when I called.  He didn’t like this role-reversal.

He’s off on a business trip, so when he comes home tomorrow, it will be two full weeks since we’ve seen each other.  As a writer, I “like” my alone time, but I “love” my husband. I’ve always known what it’s like to exist without him.  Maybe it was good for a change for him to exist without me.

What do you think?  Does your marriage or relationship have a certain pattern to it?  Ever feel the need to mix it up?  How so?

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7 Responses

  1. I often thought that he should travel just enough so we remembered how much we really did like each other. Probably 3 days a month. Absence DOES make the heart grow fonder! Or, at least, it helps you forget how irritating he really is. 😉

  2. I’m usually the one who travels and leaves my husband at home, but it’s only a couple of times a year. We have definite patterns, but we do fine with the deviations like a week away for work, and we think our marriage works best when we have that ebb and flow instead of too much routine. (Though then the ebb and flow becomes routine. LOL)

    I don’t *do* anything for my husband, so he doesn’t have much reason to miss me when I’m gone. 🙂

  3. Hi, Laura, Hi, Natalie. Yes, the routine. We’re definitely in one. Think I’ll do this more often. 🙂

  4. We’ve always had a little time apart. My husband had furniture stores, so he would have to go to the furniture market. Now he’s retired, but I have my writing that takes me to conferences. We both agree that 3 days is our maximum enjoyment time:-) The first two days, I love having the house to myself. By the third day (or night:-), I’m ready to have that man back in my life. He really is my best friend, and we do almost everything together. I was just gone for 11 days. Waaayyy too long for me!

  5. I hear you, Pamela. Makes me have a great deal of respect and the sacrifice our troops undergo.

  6. I hate being apart from my husband. Like Pamela’s husband, mine is my best friend, and the person I’d choose to hang out with over anyone else.

    He used to travel a lot more than me, so it is nice that I occasionally get to be the one on the road so he knows what it’s like. He’s pretty self-sufficient, so like Natalie’s husband he probably doesn’t miss having anything done for him, though I do usually cook since he gets home so late. 😉

    The only thing that gets me through conference is that I’m so busy I don’t have much time to think about it.

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